Traits of a Narcissistic Mother:Characteristics of Narcissistic Mothers
How to Survive with a Narcissistic Mother:
How to Survive With a Narcissistic Mother - wikiHow
Enabling Father - Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers
Where to begin.. (I'm an ENFP, type 3 btw)
I'm a senior in H.S. and I just realized this is a problem I can't control, and no matter how much I want the support, guidence, and love from my parents- I won't be getting it at a deeper level any time soon.
I'm honestly glad I found enneagram types, because I would've just continued my life, not knowing, and most likely falling back to the belief that something's inherently wrong with me. And I think I've touched parts of narcissism, myself back when I was younger.. I remember adopting the same habits my mom had. But since my Aunt passed away 2 summers ago, I've been ridding myself of them. Yet I was still stressed for some reason I didn't quite understand/acknowledge.
I still haven't applied to college, and I've been having health problems. I'm trying my best to do what's best for me because I want to be successful. But at the same time all these things.. they're just so much, and I feel-- I guess, lack of support and I.. it's not lack of being motivated.. I guess.. just extremely tired. (So perhaps its all the emotional stress that my health doesn't feel well? That's a possibility)
I just recently realized my ego gets in the way much of the time when I interract with others, so I've been following tips for self growth for Type 3s (and I've actually done a bit of them in the past, so they do actually work, I'm not blindly following them).
I think I pretty much covered the gist of my situation.
So now, I'm not really sure what I should do?
I always feel this lack of.. connection (the only way I know how to explain it is that I'm sx/sp, and that type 3's need support and guidence). And I pretty much.. can't do anything within my power to change how my mom is. I tried, which was ignorant of me. And I don't say that to be pessimistic- because realistically, it really wouldn't happen. But I'm not completely abandoning the idea of helping my mother change- it just has to be her choice. But honestly, it's her problem.
But what am I supposed to do in the mean time?
She doesn't have the physically abusive aspect, she's the "engulfing mother" one, and she never takes responsibilitie for her actions. Meh, I don't know.
I've talked to my social worker about my health problems and how it's affecting my school work. But I haven't mentioned this (I recently realized this).
Now that I know this, it kind of makes me sick.. that I've been drawn into these touching moments when I've reconciled with my mom, only to have her get all crazy over something trivial the next days. It's crazy. I don't know-- I don't know.
I'd love to go far away from my home for college (for the sake of experiencing living by myself), but I don't have the money for that.
Both sides of my family have their own issues.
There are some cousins I have in mind that I could actually rely on, but I'm not even sure they would understand since they're older than I am and probably think I'm just.. criticizing my parents for the sake of rebellion (because that's exactly what one of my cousins, aunt, and uncle had thought). I don't even want to think of the possibility that they're going to reject what I'm saying because that's just going to frusterate me.
I don't know, not many people will exactly believe me when I just bluntly state that my mom is narcissistic. I tend to just want to cut to the chase so I could just solve the problem and finally head on to my journey to be successful.
I don't know- seriously. Any advice?