Personality Cafe

You didn't like other kids
Jul 02, 2009 - 9:50 PM - by Hooded Knight
This is a brief article on introvertedness, and on nature vs. nurture—something to think and discuss. My mom found an old photocopy of my teeny hand from when I was three. So I asked her a couple of questions about my childhood. She told me that I was like Stewie. We talked about my advanced vocabulary for just a young’n , about following her around in my walker, and that I didn’t like other kids. And that I used to headbutt her. I was utterly distraught when she answered my next question, “Who is Piaget?” Yes, I really wanted to know how soon before I realized both glasses had the same amount of water. You didn’t like other kids. Apparently it went back as far as when I was two, and I would get up and walk away when the neighbor kids would want to get into my little blow-up pool. Man, and I’m still introverted just like that. That may have been my first response, but these days I don’t say no to social interaction (not always at least….) I wasn’t a crowd-follower either. When I was five or six my dad and grandpa took me through this new house being built. They warned me not to touch the insulation (It’ll make ya itch), among other safety tips an adult would tell a small child walking through a construction site. Don’t ask me why, but there were about five other kids there too, so I went over to see what they were doing. Of course, they were all giving the fiberglass insulation a good groping, “It’s soooo soft.” Do you still have your I/E from your childhood? Do you still express it in a similar way? How did you do with Piagetian Tasks? Do you have any childhood anomalies to share? Ciao, J.M.
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Article; 5 misconceptions about Introverts
Jun 29, 2009 - 12:42 PM - by avalanche183
5 misconceptions about Introverts 1. If a person is introverted, it does NOT mean they are shy or anti-social. This is probably THE biggest misconception that extroverts tend to have when it comes to introverts. And you can’t really blame them for having that kind of misconception. Extroverts tend to have to drag introverts to parties, to convince them to go and sell them on attending social engagements. When introverts politely decline, extroverts automatically assume that something might be wrong so they always ask if everything’s all right and of course, everything is all right. It’s just a common misunderstanding. When extroverts see a pattern like this developing, they automatically assume that introverts are shy or anti-social as that can be the only logical explanation to them. What’s more, when extroverts try to engage introverts in small talk, it seems like they hit a brick wall. Add to that, most extroverts see that introverts tend to be fond of engaging in solitary activities such as reading, writing, and daydreaming. Well, if it walks like a duck, talks like a duck, it must be a duck right? Wrong. Introverts have more brain activity in their frontal lobes and when these areas are activated through solitary activity, introverts become energized through processes such as problem solving, introspection, and complex thinking. Extroverts on the other hand tend to have more activity in the back of their brain, areas that deal with processing sensory information from the external world, so they tend to search for external stimuli in the form of interacting with other people and the outside world to energize them. There’s a deeper science to this that involves differences in the levels of brain chemicals such as acetylcholine and dopamine in extroverts and introverts, but I won’t get into that. The bottom line is that introverts are just wired differently than extroverts. There’s nothing “wrong” with them. They just become energized through different processes depending on where the majority of their brain activity takes place. Granted there are introverts who may be shy and anti-social, but that’s just a coincidence that perpetuates the myth that ALL introverts are like that. You’ll find that all introverts are fine just the way they are until people begin to subtly suggest otherwise. 2. Introverts tend to dislike small talk. If you really want to engage an introvert in conversation, skip the small talk. Introverts tend to love deep conversations on subjects that interest them. They love to debate, go past the superficial and poke around the depths in people’s minds to see what’s really going on in there. Most, if not all introverts tend to regard small talk as a waste of time, unless it’s with someone new they just met. This characteristic probably contributes to another misconception that extroverts have of introverts - the misconception that all introverts are arrogant. Why? Because extroverts notice that introverts don’t talk that much with other people. Therefore, extroverts assume that introverts think they’re too good to talk to others, hence arrogant and that’s hardly the case. It’s just a matter of preference. Extroverts thrive on small talk. Introverts abhor it. There’s nothing wrong with either choice, it’s just a matter of preference. This brings us to the third point. 3. Introverts do like to socialize – only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts. Yes, it’s true. Contrary to the majority of public opinion, introverts do like to socialize, but again, only in a different manner and less frequently than extroverts. Introverts love anything that involves deep conversation. They get energized by discussing subjects that are important to them and they love see what and how other people think, to connect the dots, to dig deep, to find root causes, to use logical thinking via debate in conversation, etc. And what’s more, introverts can do a lot of things extroverts are naturally good at - give great speeches, schmooze with everyone, be the life of the party, charm the socks off of total strangers - but only for a short period of time. After that, they need time for themselves which brings us to the fourth point. 4. Introverts need time alone to recharge. Extroverts tend to think introverts have something against them as they constantly seem to refuse generous invites to social engagements. Introverts do appreciate the offers, but it’s just that they know it will take a lot of energy out of them if they pursue these social functions. They need time alone like they need food and water. Give them their space. There’s nothing wrong with them. They’re not depressed and they’re not sad. They just need time alone to recharge their batteries. 5. Introverts are socially well adjusted. Most introverts are well aware of all the social nuances, customs, and mannerisms when it comes to interacting with other people, but they simply don’t choose to socialize as much as extroverts, which makes it easy for extroverts to assume that introverts are not socially well adjusted, as they have not seen much evidence of them interacting with other people. This just exacerbates previous misconceptions and gives way to labeling introverts as nerds, geeks, loners, etc. It’s easy to understand why society tends to value extroverts over introverts. Human beings have lived in a tribal society so having to interact frequently with people came to be a regarded as a very good skill when it came to survival. But because of this high value placed on extroversion, introverts tend to feel trapped and find themselves in a catch 22 situation. Do introverts stay true to who they are and risk social alienation and isolation or do introverts conform and join the extroverted side, pretending to be somebody they’re not just to fit in? This is precisely why I wrote this article, because if the extroverts can become more educated about introverts, introverts will be able to feel free to stay true to who they are, and that’s a good thing from society’s point of view. Trying to “turn” an introverted person into an extroverted person is detrimental because it gives off a subtle suggestion that there is something wrong with them, hampering their self worth and esteem when there is absolutely nothing wrong in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with introverts. In fact, introverts are the leading pioneers of advancements in human civilization. Albert Einstein, Issac Newton, Charles Darwin are a few introverts that come to mind, just to name a few. And for those of you not interested in science, but pop culture, you’ll be surprised to see a lot of well known names in Hollywood are introverts as well. Julia Roberts, Steven Spielberg, Christian Bale to name a few as well. And for those interested in sports, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods come to mind as athletes who are introverts as well. Introverts have a lot to bring to the table. They have an amazing ability to discover new thoughts, an uncanny ability to focus, to concentrate, to connect the dots, to observe and note things that most people miss, to listen extremely well and are often found having a rich and vivid imagination too. The more extroverts become knowledgeable about introverts, the less tension and misunderstanding there will be among the two. So if you’re an introvert reading this, send a copy of this article to all your extrovert friends so they can get a better idea of what you’re all about. It’s time to finally clear the air."
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The top 10 Misconceptions of the Myers Briggs Type Indicator.
Jun 22, 2009 - 2:55 AM - by Lance
I recently discovered this interesting article, written by Breanne in her blog at the THE MBTI BLOG which has many information relating to the MBTI . The following are the top 10 misconception of the MBTI.... Misconception #1: The MBTI is a personality test. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator® is an indicator (or assessment), not a test. The term test assumes that there is a right or wrong answer, or the opportunity to pass or fail. There is no right or wrong personality type. In addition, there is no one best personality type. Misconception #2: I took the Myers-Briggs online last night for free. No, you didn’t. Unfortunately you were deceived by someone pretending to have a free version of the MBTI. If you look closely you will see that the assessment often calls itself “MBTI-like” or a “Jungian” assessment. This is not the MBTI! Why does this matter? The real MBTI has been around for 60 years and has been extensively researched and continuously improved to guarantee strong validity and reliability. The online versions are not valid and are not reflective of type theory. There are ways to take the MBTI online, but they will never be free. You can go to a Qualified practitioner who uses SkillsOne to administer the MBTI (CPP’s online platform for delivering assessments). You can also go to the MBTI Complete to take the assessment and receive an online debrief with a “best-fit” type exercise. Misconception #3: The MBTI report said I was an ESTJ, but I feel like I am an ISTJ. I guess I am wrong. You have the ultimate final say on your personality type. After all, you are the expert on you! It is okay to question if the report accurately describes you as a whole. No assessment can ask enough questions to explain all of the intricacies of personality, preferences, or behaviors. In addition, the report will only be as accurate as you are honest. If you take the assessment while imagining what your employer or teammates want from you, the results will likely not reflect your true inborn preferences. It is for this exact reason that an exercise in determining your “best fit” type is essential- and it is one more reason why the “free online versions” of MBTI-like assessments do a disservice to individuals. Misconception #4: Wow! This MBTI thing is cool; I should use it to select new employees. The use of the MBTI in selecting employees is unethical. Again, there is no one right personality type, and every type can function in any role. In addition, there is no evidence that the results of the MBTI can predict performance. Misconception #5: I’m one of 16 types? I feel more unique than that! That’s right! You are not one of 16 types. Within the 16 different types, there are even more individual differences. The MBTI Step II highlights 20 of those differences. Specifically, there are 5 facets that explain differences for each dichotomy. As an example, you can be an Introvert that is contained (does not readily share thoughts/feelings) or one that is open (easily shares with others). This is one way that introverts can differ from each other. If you are someone who feels that at times they perform “out of preference,” then the Step II can be an enlightening experience. Misconception #6: I found out I’m an Introvert, but I’m in a sales job. I guess I should find a new career. Remember, the MBTI is about preferences, not ability. While it is true that people typically gravitate towards careers that complement their natural preferences, that does not mean you cannot function in an environment that is “out of preference” for you. This is just like being right-handed. If you had to use your left hand to write, you could. It would be awkward, time-consuming, and possibly messy- but you could do it. Over time, you would become more and more comfortable using your left-hand. This is the same as personality type. Everyone can function in an “out of preference” environment. It may be difficult, but it is possible. Misconception #7: I had a really high score on Thinking, so I’m REALLY good at that! What many people interpret as “scores” on the MBTI are not indices of ability, skill, or intelligence. Rather, they reflect the clarity with which your answers reflected that preference. I happen to STRONGLY prefer Judging. That doesn’t mean I’m really good at organized and planning. It means that I prefer to be planful, organized, and finish well before the deadline. I may still fail at accomplishing those tasks, but that is what I prefer. Now, if you are in the mid-zone for a particular dichotomy, this is another reason to try the MBTI step II. Again, this could help illuminate when you are in-preference for the function, or out of preference. Misconception #8: I’ve changed my type several times. According to Jung’s theory, you do not change type. Type (preferences) is inborn in you and never change. The best way to understand this is the right hand left hand example. A right handed person can function left-handed. And over time can become more and more comfortable using their left hand. HOWEVER, given the chance, they will naturally want to use their right hand. That natural preference towards their right hand will never go away. If your reported type changes, there are several things to consider. First, did you take an authentic version of the MBTI? If not, then there is no surprise you received different results. The “free online versions” are no more accurate than quizzes that determine “which celebrity’s dog you are.” Second, did you walk through an in-depth exercise in best-fit type? Next, have you recently gone through a major life change that is coloring the way you perceive the questions? Did you answer honestly? Misconception #9: My husband doesn’t need to take the MBTI, I can guess what his type is. You may have a guess as to what someone’s personality type is, but there is a big danger in teaching someone their type based on a guess. What if you are wrong? This may hinder their development rather than promote development. We make assumptions about others’ preferences constantly, and in many ways we do so in an effort to aid in communication. However, when there is the possibility of taking the actual MBTI, it is necessary to do so. Misconception #10: I hope that my team members all have my personality type, because that would be the best team ever! While that team may have the fewest disagreements, there is danger in wanting to surround yourself with only your type. A diverse group will have a greater likelihood of generating creative, unique results. If there is diversity in type, discussions will be more in-depth because each person approaches a decision differently because of their preferences. Conflict and disagreements should not be a negative thing, if handled with proper constructive communication. A diverse group can generate the most well thought through results.
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